my journey is about to take place...

tomorrow, 9.1.09 i will embark on a new journey. a journey that i cannot let anyone or anything to bring me down. i have so many people to thank and to all those who have had something positive to keep me sane to make sure that i never gave up. it was prophesied to me that i will let go a lot of old things, including people who will try to bring me down in the next year. so my eyes are wide open to who's real and who's counterfeit. everyone isnt my friend. seein things from all perspectives now. people are plottin and just tryna wait for me to fail. but failure isnt final, but ferterlizer because i will become more of a beautiful creation than i already am. i just love the fact that i have a family that are always supportive and always supportin me through out everythin. i dont know where this year is gonna take me, but i know it will take me somewhere great. right now all im thinking about is school, work and my family. no need to say what about your boyfriend for you nosey people who have been ALL in my business LATELY with the rumors of me expecting and other bull. i guess its true when they say people will talk about you good or bad. i am so grateful to have REAL friends! and those who are fadin remember you will need me before i need you. watch how you will see a change. numbers have been deleted. aim screen names, letting go of childish things and movin on to BIGGER & BETTER THINGS.

bend but dont break

sometimes i sit in my room all by myself thinkin of ways to make the time fly.

waitin for brighter days as if i were still a lil child.

they say the older you get the more responsibilites you have.

my attitude is ambivalent. my mind is confused. my heart has so much love.

but there are days when i still have the blues.

i feel like an outcast cuz at times i can be a tad bit anti-social.

exaggeration procrastination and sarcasm is a must.

while i give grimey looks and the hostility builds up.

no one understands because i dont take the time to communicate.

jus keepin everythin bottled up while my mind, body and soul suffocates.

friends come and go. family members the same.

heart felt gratitude and still dont have anythin to conclude.
feels like im dyin inside. although blood is runnin through my veins.

so i smile although the pain still remains.

through trials and tribulations im still optimistic.

theres much pressure on this black girl to not be another statistic.

the one who is unemployed, pregnant & drops outta school.

but mommy definitely didnt raise no fool.

livin in a sheltered box, where my dreams are shattered.

this egotistical world where the white supremacy still occurs.

where the judicial system sucks, and amendments arent fulfilled.

where drugs and crime take over the city where i once lived.

but mentally my mind is in another place. on a hiatus far from my current status.

i have been through so much to not try to accomplish the goals ive set.

whether i fail many times, ima dust myself off and try again.

my words fly on paper as if im an eagle soarin high.

to express myself verbally helps, although i still cry.

sometimes i dont know where to turn, dont know what to do.

this life i have so many people try to have an analytical view.

but no one knows really what ive been through.
in my mind are vivid pictures, great imagery although my imagination fades.

bend but dont break is all i keep hearin mommy say.
but mommy cant see that she raised me the right

although i put a good fight. gotta make mommy proud is all i wanna do.

bend but dont break cuz i cant fail this time.

gotta lot to accomplish in this life of mine. bend but dont break cuz i gotta be strong.

jus tryna figure out where things all went wrong.

bend but dont break is all mommy say.

mommy ima bend but i promise i wont break.

[pe.es] "the proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right."---mark twain

family matters

over this past weekend, i had a chance of bein with my family. we only see each other like this once a year. thats right, youve guessed correctly...family reunion. during the memorial service of those who have passed before me ive realized how great it is to be apart of a legacy that will live on forever. my family is 8 generations and counting, beginning in the 1800s. god is so good, to have blessed my family up until this time.

i honestly dont think anyone has family like mine. we treat everyone the same even if they have ridiculed our name, have tossed us in the dirt. those who have back stabbed us on more than one occasion. but through it all, god sees and hears all.

family is so important to me. friends come and go, but family stays forever. even after those ancestors are long and gone. cherish every moment that you have. dont hold grudges, and try not to catch an attitude over things that you have no control over. and the things that you have control over, if you fail, or make a mistake, learn from that experience. we are only human. we are not perfect, but imperfect we are.

sometimes, we all take things for granted. but as im maturin, i realize that it is too late in the game to start actin like a lil child. i cant go back to my childish ways, because i left those days behind once i started college. i may slack here and there, but i plan on doin what i need to, to accomplish any goals that i have on my list to achieve. i am gonna be somebody.

[pe.es] reach one...teach one---anonymous