listening to alotta love songs. thinking and comtemplatin so much that i cause myself to have headaches! ahhhhhhh ughhhhhhhhhh *sighs*
so these past 3 and a 1/2 weeks have been nothing but sleepless nights. fighting and arguing with just about everybody. ahhhhh but im on the way back to being my OLDself! when things didnt matter to me and neither did people if i knew they aint give a flying fig bout me...
school is outta control...my english teacher wants the most work done! and it is outrageous. i have so many projects to do and stuff that this makes me just think about how much more work ima have to put in next semester...oh boy...i am not gonna have a life AGAiN! lol
btw im thinkin bout movin downsouth...maybe after christmas/before the new year. or maybe after the spring semester is over with. i need a new change, a new environment...or maybe i just need a vacation! lol
so on 11.18.09 i wrote a poem that depicts on what i was going through...
what hurts the most...
what hurts the most is...letting go.
but this time it doesnt hurt me at all.
ya wanted me out ya life. so there you go.
ya lies...everything youve said...now out the window.
our friendship was supposed to be so much more than that.
never friends i suppose? you will always have a special place in my heart.
but this shyt...i gotta let it burn.
i couldnt keep waiting around, and after 3 weeks..thats too much time.
especially for the love we had.
so im happy for you and i wish you the best of luck in all ya endeavors.
what we had was special.
didnt mean what i said when i was angry.
i enjoyed all the times with you both good and bad.
i stuck with you through it all.
but what hurts the most, is realizing i just lost my best friend.
i dont understand the whole situation, so i guess ima just think some more pray some more & love some more...
[pe.es] ima make this list and i hope the good outweighs the bad just so i can see the outcome =]
to be continued...
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