ugh the reason why i have been feeling so damn down is because???
i have everythin i want, need and desire in a boyfriend but most importantly, a best friend.
why do i feel like this? is it because we dont see each other as much because our schedules are a conflict?
i find myself talkin to other people via phone or text messaging
but then i find myself talkin to other male friends all of the conversations are DEAD!
feels like im trying to hard sometimes to keep him happy and satisfied. yet i dont wanna miss him too much..even though thats what i end up doing at the end.
is anything im doing brandnew?
in past relationships, i was the one ALWAYS giving my ALL.
no one was willing to meet me half way.
no one was fully acknowledging the fact that a relationship was a [TWOwaySTREET] either.
love isnt all that blind.
and neither is it all that complicated.
ive gotten immune to this feeling of being fully loved by him.
immune to the talks, the play fights, being in his arms, kissin him regardless of who's around.
even him tellin on me when i get outta hand lol
but most of all, when he says i love you and mean it!
is anything im doing brandnew?
this here is suttin personal. i highly doubt this feeling is reversible. knowledge is apart of pain & boy it hurts to know...
i cant even find, the perfect brush so i cant paint whats going through my mind.
racing against myself but ima couple steps behind.
thats why i gotta ask...is anything thing im doing brandnew?
i guess being appreciated for one is brandnew
and having someone who feels the same way about me like i do them
but all in all it STILL feels like its something missin from this ordeal
like theres something that im not doing right and its just causing me to over analyze things.
maybe im wrong about this whole situation.
but it feels as if im trying to be better than who i was in my past relationship
to keep [HiM] satisfied
to keep me believing that there's something missin.
something im doing wrong.
i so wished that i knew what this feeling really is.
or even how it came about.
i can truly say that i love this guy with everything that i have.
i appreciate everything that he does for me even the little things
but this feeling of me missing something is beyond crazy
i have never felt like this not even once since ive been with him
ughhhh the things that love makes you do and say or even feel
is beyond my imagination, its beyond my thoughts.
dont even know how im gonna pull this one together, but eventually, i will.
what i love the most about this guy...is that he's always been a friend first before anything!
on my way to pick up my baby now just so we can eat brownies together =]
yea ima loser so what!
but the best feeling is knowing that im his one and only loser
[pe.es] mission accomplished
---the feeling is gone!
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